Literature and LIfe

So the new book in the House of Night series came out yesterday.  I have, of course, finished it.  I can't say too much about it though, because Twin is still working on.  Turns out she can't read while teaching high school theatre.  Go figure.
I do have to say, this was not my favorite in the series.  It might be my least favorite actually.  It starts with the fact that they not only ruin a very important death with show tunes, they don't even use the original show tune.  We, the readers, are forced to spend an entire chapter reading about Glee singing 'Defying Gravity.'  What a waste of not only an important sacrifice (from both sides) by making it cheesey, but by ruining the good song.
That was not my biggest disappointment though.  That honor goes to some of the character's handling of forgiveness, specifically the conditions the goddess they follow, therefore the rest of them, puts on forgiveness.  I'm not going into great detail here, just in case Twin reads this before she finishes the book.
Here's my real point today.  True forgiveness cannot have conditions of "when you deserve it," or "when you make things right," or "when I'm not hurting as much," or whatever else we put there.  Mainly because the act of forgiveness is a completely passive event for the one to be forgiven.  Forgiveness is only done by the one hurt.  Therefore, the only one who can make it happen, the only one who can choose forgiveness, the only one who can cause forgiveness is the one forgiving.  The moment we start forcing the other party to somehow earn our forgiveness, we aren't being forgiving.  We are being judge and executioner.  Forgiveness is when we say that whatever someone did, we do not hold it against them.  I may not be able to stop the consequences of your action, but I won't hold any debt for my part.  The act of adding conditions nulls that.  Those conditions are demanding that the debt be paid.  That's not forgiveness.
And, as we so often pray, God forgive us as we forgive others.  I can't pay that debt, I need God to not hold it against me.  So, I must learn to not demand it from others.