So, last night Lora was (as usual) very cute. It was after VBS, and therefore, very much after her bedtime. She was roaming around not sleeping while her mom tried to get dinner together. Josh Groban came up in conversation (again, as usual), and Lora came up to me and asked to see him. I picked up my phone, and showed her my background, which is of Josh. She immediately gave me the "are you kidding me look" and said, "make him sing." So, I pulled up "Awake" on youtube (it seemed appropriate since she was refusing sleep). And for 45 seconds, Lora was completely enamored and engaged. She stared at that little screen with joy and contentment. Then, at 46 seconds, she was done. There were other things in the room to play with before she finally lost the battle against sleep. She was off, and Josh was left singing alone.
I was thinking about that this morning. We have experiences were we so openly beg for God's presense and spirit. And for awhile, we cannot imagine anything but getting it. Then, life happens and we get distracted. Suddenly we remember all the other things in the world we want to fill our lives with, and we push the Spirit back down. This cycle seems fairly common, and I'm not sure how to break it. Maybe just being aware that we are all a bunch of toddlers when it comes to our relationship with the Father will be enough to lengthen our attentions on him and short our distractions elsewhere.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
On Grace when you'd prefer Karma
Yoga wasn't all that great today. My instructor did a great job, and the room was comfy and more quiet than earlier in the week. I'm just in a little bit of a foul mood today. I won't go into great detail why, just know that my usual favorite pose (child's pose) was not all that comfortable today. I'm a stretched out, but not much more relaxed.
I've had a very weird day. I know that a fellow believer is taking advantage of my feeble attempts at going 2 miles when she only asks for one and all that. I was up most of the night crying and screaming in frustration. It doesn't seem to bother me much when non-Christ followers take advantage of grace, but I have about zero tolerance for the same from believers. Higher standards and all.
All that being said, at around 4:30 am this morning, I decided I was going to do everything in my power and at whatever cost to find a way to show grace to this person. And I wasn't to happy about that decision, I just felt like it was I needed to do.
Fast forward a few hours to being at the pool. I was walking laps, and felt the Spirit very calmly nudge me. This is a rare experience for me. I'm usually the one that needs the Gibb's smack upside the head. But this morning, there was a very gentle voice that very comfortingly and sadly said, "Giving grace hurts when the recipient takes advantage. But that is what makes grace so rich. If everyone accepted grace the way they should, we would need a lot less grace because people would already be more just." I could easily, and in many people's eyes (mine and those of people I greatly respect) would be completely justified, in putting my foot down and saying no more. But, if I miss this opportunity to show grace when justice is fair, I miss the chance to experience a small taste of the Father's heart. We have the chance to look into His love, it's a small and blurry window, but it is a window all the same. I will probably fail at showing this person grace, I have before. But everytime I find a way to show just a little bit, I see His heart a little more.
I end today with a couple of quotes from one of my favorite bloggers from a recent post of his on grace. I'm including the link to that post, as it is excellent. So, from Richard Beck:
I've had a very weird day. I know that a fellow believer is taking advantage of my feeble attempts at going 2 miles when she only asks for one and all that. I was up most of the night crying and screaming in frustration. It doesn't seem to bother me much when non-Christ followers take advantage of grace, but I have about zero tolerance for the same from believers. Higher standards and all.
All that being said, at around 4:30 am this morning, I decided I was going to do everything in my power and at whatever cost to find a way to show grace to this person. And I wasn't to happy about that decision, I just felt like it was I needed to do.
Fast forward a few hours to being at the pool. I was walking laps, and felt the Spirit very calmly nudge me. This is a rare experience for me. I'm usually the one that needs the Gibb's smack upside the head. But this morning, there was a very gentle voice that very comfortingly and sadly said, "Giving grace hurts when the recipient takes advantage. But that is what makes grace so rich. If everyone accepted grace the way they should, we would need a lot less grace because people would already be more just." I could easily, and in many people's eyes (mine and those of people I greatly respect) would be completely justified, in putting my foot down and saying no more. But, if I miss this opportunity to show grace when justice is fair, I miss the chance to experience a small taste of the Father's heart. We have the chance to look into His love, it's a small and blurry window, but it is a window all the same. I will probably fail at showing this person grace, I have before. But everytime I find a way to show just a little bit, I see His heart a little more.
I end today with a couple of quotes from one of my favorite bloggers from a recent post of his on grace. I'm including the link to that post, as it is excellent. So, from Richard Beck:
But it's hard not to get into a fight about grace. Grace has always been scandalous. It makes no sense, morally speaking. In fact, it can seem downright immoral. Why? Because grace violates our innate, deeply rooted sense of morality. Grace isn't natural. Grace is about the hardest thing you can do. It's damn near heroic.
Rather than retaliation, followers of Jesus are to love and forgive. We are to leave the moral debt outstanding. The debt isn't repaid. It is forgiven. Grace is a bomb that explodes our thirst for moral balance and proportionality.
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