I've had a very weird day. I know that a fellow believer is taking advantage of my feeble attempts at going 2 miles when she only asks for one and all that. I was up most of the night crying and screaming in frustration. It doesn't seem to bother me much when non-Christ followers take advantage of grace, but I have about zero tolerance for the same from believers. Higher standards and all.
All that being said, at around 4:30 am this morning, I decided I was going to do everything in my power and at whatever cost to find a way to show grace to this person. And I wasn't to happy about that decision, I just felt like it was I needed to do.
Fast forward a few hours to being at the pool. I was walking laps, and felt the Spirit very calmly nudge me. This is a rare experience for me. I'm usually the one that needs the Gibb's smack upside the head. But this morning, there was a very gentle voice that very comfortingly and sadly said, "Giving grace hurts when the recipient takes advantage. But that is what makes grace so rich. If everyone accepted grace the way they should, we would need a lot less grace because people would already be more just." I could easily, and in many people's eyes (mine and those of people I greatly respect) would be completely justified, in putting my foot down and saying no more. But, if I miss this opportunity to show grace when justice is fair, I miss the chance to experience a small taste of the Father's heart. We have the chance to look into His love, it's a small and blurry window, but it is a window all the same. I will probably fail at showing this person grace, I have before. But everytime I find a way to show just a little bit, I see His heart a little more.
I end today with a couple of quotes from one of my favorite bloggers from a recent post of his on grace. I'm including the link to that post, as it is excellent. So, from Richard Beck:
But it's hard not to get into a fight about grace. Grace has always been scandalous. It makes no sense, morally speaking. In fact, it can seem downright immoral. Why? Because grace violates our innate, deeply rooted sense of morality. Grace isn't natural. Grace is about the hardest thing you can do. It's damn near heroic.
Rather than retaliation, followers of Jesus are to love and forgive. We are to leave the moral debt outstanding. The debt isn't repaid. It is forgiven. Grace is a bomb that explodes our thirst for moral balance and proportionality.
In a certain light it could be seen as cleansing by fire. You give yourself, your energy; this generosity is misused; you seethe in private anger, blood boiling, and yet rather than retaliate, you react with grace. "Kill 'em with kindness" I think still requires that the INTENT be ultimately kindness, rather than a subtle mask for the motivation of revenge.
ReplyDeleteI like this cleansing by fire, if for no other reason I feel emotionally like I've been boiling all day.
ReplyDeleteI've never been one for killing with kindness, I'm too confrontational for that. But, sometimes I think we can be kind despite what we want to do. And that may be more important when the good intentions aren't going to be there either way.
If you read the version of the bible that I wrote, Grace can be given in the form of a punch in the face. Only if you use the phrase "in His name"
ReplyDeletei once heard a comedian say something along the lines of "what would Jesus do? I did what Jesus would have done, I set him on fire and sent him to hell"
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