My Pastor Has Failed Me

That was Sunday night.  And he just did it again.  I've prayed about this, I've been broken about it and I have stared incredulously.  I'm just completely at a loss for words and direction.  Maybe I should elaborate.  He served decaf coffee at Bible Study, and just now told Penny she had "too much caffeine."



I know.  I'm in shock too.  I cannot not even imagine why you would drink decaffeinated coffee.  Just drink water.  Or real coffee.  And one can never have too much caffeine.  That is just a ridiculous statement.  And it's possibly unBiblical.  I'm looking that up.
In the middle of this insanity, I started thinking about how many of us a settling for what I'm calling "decaf Christianity."  Many others that are much smarter than me have called it "Almost Christianity."  There are actually 2 very well known sermons by that title, look them up.
I should probably expand on this a little.  There are simply too many people who do not expect to hear from God on a daily, if not more often basis.  The idea of having a personal, vibrant relationship with Jesus in the same manner as with our dearest friends is foreign to so many.  We try to adhere to some list of rules we've created from some ancient book, and can't figure out why we are not satisfied.  Now, all of that is fairly straightforward, what is not is the why.  I think there are a few reasons:
1) We don't know any different.  This is a scary one.  We've been copying each other for so long, we don't realise we have lost the original.  Even worse, we think that everyone else is happy.  Since we aren't satisfied, we just figure the problem is with us or assume this is as good as it gets.
2)We know different, we just don't do different.  Another scary one.  We realise we aren't getting it right, we are aware that we don't have a relationship with Jesus.  We just don't do anything about it.  We are either too scare or too lazy to act.
3)We don't realise there is more.  Maybe we think this is enough.  Why be unsatisfied if there is no more to be had?  That desire in our deepest souls is just part of the human condition, it doesn't get better until we get to heaven.

In the same way decaf makes no sense, Christianity without the relationship makes no sense.  It's just another list of things we have to be responsible for.  And none of us have time or energy for that.  So let's quit drinking decaf, literally and spiritually. 

Another reason I can't be a member of a mega-church:
Can you imagine me in a place with enough caffeine to fuel that many people?  I would get there early, have enough coffee to power a small country, and twitch like crazy for the next week.  Then, I would have to rush back to get my next fix.  It would not be a pretty sight my friends!

I Am Willing

One of my dearest friends is hurting today.  And I want to fix it.  But I can't.  This is a situation I've been in before, and I've never learned to like it or to be at peace with it.  I think most of you can relate.  We always want to take away the pain of those we love and cherish.  I think it is part of how we are made as relational creatures.  We're meant to be in relationship with each other.  But we are broken creatures living in a broken creation, so things get broken.  And while it is our first instinct to "fix it," we are broken too.  We can't even fix ourselves, how are we going to fix anyone else?
This has been bothering me all day.  How else can I deal with my friend's heartache if I can't just wipe it away?  I suddenly thought of one of my favorite Gospel passages, Mark 1:40-42.  In it, a man with leprosy comes to Jesus, and asks the Lord, if Jesus is willing, to heal him.  I love Jesus' response: "I am willing."
Now, I know this isn't a passage on heartache, loss or emotional suffering.  It is Jesus meeting the physical need of a person.  But those 3 words carry so much more weight than simple healing (if healing leprosy was simple!).  Jesus didn't just do it because he should, or could, or had to.  Jesus was willing.
This offers us 2 separate hopes today.  First, Jesus is willing.  We can know him, we can be clean, we can be reconciled to the Father because Jesus is willing to make that happen in our lives.  Secondly, we have a model.  We can't do what Jesus does, but we can be willing.  We can be willing to carry His good news, His joy, His truth, His comfort.  We can be willing to love people in the mess of a broken life.  We may not be able to fix anyone the way Jesus can, but we can be willing to love.  Our willingness to love shows a broken and hurting world that the Savior is willing.

Are we waiting or waiting?

Let's talk about waiting, specifically waiting on the Lord, as in everyone's favorite verse.

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind. Isaiah 40:31 (The Message)

Now, I had for a very long time understood this verse to mean that when things get hard, just sit back and wait, and God will give me strength.  I don't know that this is a bad understanding, but I don't think it's the best.
We need to really stop and look at the word "wait".  I hear that word and my mind immediately goes to "Waiting for Godot."  The whole play is about 2 men waiting for a 3rd, named Godot.  The script revolves around them sitting, and waiting.  They do not go on to anything else, they do not try anything else.  They have put all hope in help from Godot, so they do nothing but sit and wait for Godot.  Now, many of us a Christ-followers do this, and I think it can be a good thing.  Jesus is the vine (we've talked about this) and our life and help come from Him.  Sometimes we need to wait in this context.
But there is another definition of waiting.  The roots of the word "wait" are the same roots as the words "waiting," "waitor," and "waitress."  Now, a waiter does anything but wait in our first context.  A waiter is constantly going, always on his feet, continually serving the master.  What if we use this context in Isaiah? 

But those who continually serve God and work to meet His desires get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.

That now means something completely different.  Instead of sitting and doing nothing until God gives us the strength to continue, we now press into Him.  We work at His side, we strive to meet His every desire and serve Him for as long as He would have us.  And, in that serving or waiting if you will, He renews our strength.  We will soar like the eagles as we wait upon Him.  It makes me want to work and serve.  How about you?

Essa

You read that title right.  According to one sweet toddler, my name is Essa.  Now, if you are an adult, I will correct you for messing up my name in the following ways: Chestna, Chesnut, Chestnut, Chezna, Cheznut.  But I will never correct Lora.  She is the first person that young to even attempt my name, much less say the same thing every time!  And every time she walks in and says "Essa!", I just feel happier. 
I was thinking today (after correcting an adult about my name) about why this is.  I think I may have figured it.  When she comes in and says my name, she isn't looking for anything (most of the time).  She just sees me, and aknowledges that she knows me.  How great is that?
I have even better news than that.  God knows my name.  He knows yours too.  He knows the best and worst of us.  God knows everything we've done, haven't done, should have done, and shouldn't have done.  You can take that last sentence and put it in the future tense as well.  But more than the sum of our actions and choices, God knows our names.  He knows the truest form of me, because He created me.  He knows my name, and loves me.  He doesn't love because of me or in spite of me, He just knows me and loves me.
God knows my name.  And God knows your name.

Thoughts On Musical Terrorism

My BFF Evita, better known as Twin, and I have a game.  It is called musical terrorism.  The goal is to get the most annoying song stuck in the other person's head.  There is an art form to this.  The first and most obvious challenge is to not get the same song stuck in your head.  Second, you have to choose your technique.  I am the master of mass attacks: run in the room, sing a line or two, and run out.  Twin on the other hand is the queen of the subtle conversational tactic.  You'll be talking and trying to remember someone's name.  She'll say "She was a small town girl, right? She was living in a lonely world?  Did she ride trains?"  And bam.  You've been musical terrorized. 
I started a new battle Sunday.  I had heard "Eye of the Tiger" five different times Sunday, and I wanted to share.  It's been non-stop attacks since.  We are actually paranoid to check texts or answer the phone.  At the same time, I have the perfect song if I can just beat her to it.  She's currently ahead, only because she figured out how to use technology against me.
This had me thinking this morning.  What if we did the same thing with the Word of God?  So often we go to each other needing advice, comfort, someone to celebrate with, or someone to mourn with.  Instead of going to scripture, that we know to be powerful, we offer up cliches and worldly advice.  2 Timothy 3:16 says "All scripture is God-breathed, and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness."  I love the word "useful" in that verse.  Scripture is useful for us.
Now the challenge here is that we must know the Word of God to speak it.  This takes time and effort in reading and memorizing.  It may be hard, but it is useful.
So, I'm going first.  To my friends who are either in their second weekend of a show, or those who open a show this weekend: Psalm 62:1-2 "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."

And Twin, if you are reading this, I love you.  Please don't break my heart, my achy breaky heart!

Vines and Branches and Why I Kill Every Plant I Own

I really have killed every plant I've ever owned.  You know that bambo you can buy in the Mall of Abilene?  Yeah, killed that before.  Killed it multiple times (multiple plants, not the same plant over and over.  That would be impressive though).  I even took Plant Biology in college, and took the lab twice (I'm not a science person).  I understand why they die.  I just can't seem to do anything to keep them alive.  I could never be a farmer's wife, we'd starve.
Strangely enough though, I'm really wrapped in Jesus' description of the vine and branches.  Let's look at just a section of this great passage out of John 15:

5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8 This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. 9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love.

I really love this passage.  That may seem confusing considering how I relate to plants.  But reread that.  I'm not the vine.  I'm not the one who produces fruit, I'm not the one that nourishes the plant, all I, the branch, have to do is stay connected to the vine.  I have to stay in relationship with the one that provides me life.  Now, I understand that staying in a vibrant, obedient relationship with Jesus is not always easy.  Sometimes it may even be the hardest option available.  But, when it comes down to it, it is far easier than trying to be the vine myself.  I kill plants.  If I were the vine, we'd all be in trouble.  But I'm not the vine.  Jesus is.  The one who was God, but became man; the one who conquered death; the one who provides us with life is the vine.  More than that, Jesus tells us that when we remain in Him, we won't just be alive.  We'll bear much fruit.  We'll grow.  We'll change.  We'll be abundant, and live abundantly.  It's not the easiest, but it is the best.
So, remain in His love.

Stand By Me | Playing For Change | Song Around the World

This video was posted on another blog I follow, and I loved it!
The video is made by Playing for Change.  They record musicians, have other musicians listen to the song and add their voice and instrument.  It isn't a series, it is a mix and a well done mix at that!
I'm sure there is some great truth or lesson or sermon here, but I don't really care.  Enjoy the music, friends!

Shout out to those who have helped me

The past few weeks I've spent quite a bit of time thinking about covenant relationships, to steal a phrase from Penny (that happens a lot).  I've also spent quite a bit of time thinking about discipleship and mentoring.  I don't necessarily want to go into those right now, although we are talking about covenant relationships at youth Bible Study tonight if you are interested.  What I've realized is that I am only who I am today because of the people that were obedient to making disciples.  There is a long list of people who poured themselves into me, teaching me, encouraging me, rebuking me, and loving me.  They made a commitment that went beyond friendship, and for that, I am forever grateful.
I've gone back forth all morning on whether to try to type out a list.  I've decided not to, because I'm sure there are too many that I'd forget, or not realize how much they changed me.  But be assured, I thank my God every time I think of each of you, and pray that I can do just a small part of what you have for the Kingdom.
Thank you.

Thoughts on Galatians 6

I like days like today.  There has been lots of good discussion in the office, much of it challenging, all of it loving.
I was struggling on what to blog today, when I read through Galatians 6.

Doing Good to All

1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5 for each one should carry his own load. 6 Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor. 7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Not Circumcision but a New Creation

11 See what large letters I use as I write to you with my own hand! 12 Those who want to make a good impression outwardly are trying to compel you to be circumcised. The only reason they do this is to avoid being persecuted for the cross of Christ. 13 Not even those who are circumcised obey the law, yet they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your flesh. 14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. 15 Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation. 16 Peace and mercy to all who follow this rule, even to the Israel of God. 17 Finally, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus. 18 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit, brothers. Amen.

I had a few thoughts while reading this passage.
1) We are to "restore each other gently."  But, we have to watch ourselves, or we will also be tempted.  Correcting sin is a dangerous business, and not something that can be appraoched lightly, without careful prayer.  If not careful, we'll just end up exactly like the sweaty heathen they are.
2)  There is no break between the other person's sin, and us all carrying each other's burdens.  Are they related?
3)  If we somehow aren't careful, or do not carry one another's burdens, we are deceiving ourselves.
4)We should test our own actions, not everyone else's.  Good stuff there.
5) God will not be mocked.  I don't have to worry about all the sweaty heathens out there.  I have been reconciled to God through His Holy Son, and live in His grace.  Those that live in sin will pay the consequences of it.  That is God's nature, and I don't have to be the executioner of that.
6) I just need to do good.  Then, do good.  Then, do some more good.
7)Those who are faking it, trying to look good on the outside while being a mess inside (ZOMBIES!) will try to get me to be the same way.  I don't have to.  I should just go do some more good.
So  maybe that was more than a few thoughts.  What do you think?  Anything else jump out at you from this passage?  Anything that jumped out at me sound crazy?