Zombocalypse

First, I cannot take credit for "zombocalypse."  Penny came up with that one.  I like it.
Now, onward and upward.
I have a weird relationship with zombies.  As far as monsters go, they aren't my favorites.  I much prefer the (non-Twilight) vampires.  (Are we still really counting those sparkly things as vampires?  Really?  Come on.  Please.)  They are strong and smart and fast and witty and romantic and just more fun.  They seem more human to me, at least until recently.  My personal favorite vamps are from the House of Night Series.  Not quite Bram Stoker, but much MUCH cooler than the twilighters.  This particular story keeps the humanity, good and bad, of the characters as they change.  It focuses on choices made instead of what you are.  Good stuff there.
But, I digress.  I want to talk about zombies.  No, I don't have a zombie contingency plan.  John offered to let me in his group, but only as zombie bait.  I'm not too fond of that one.  So let me know if you have room for one other in your zombie survival group.
I've recently discovered that zombies may be more relatable than vampires.  I had a horrible bout with Strep last year, and felt like death warmed over.  Many of us who went to the same Halloween celebration last night are roming about like zombies today.  I think we really get the idea of being alive, but not actually alive, at least physically.  (Any theatre kids thinking show week here?)  But even more than physically, I think we understand this concept spiritually.
The Old Testament talks about some reanimated bodies.

1 The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know." 4 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! 5 This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' " 7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. 9 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' " 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet--a vast army. 11 Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.' 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.' "

In this passage we see God take dry, old bones and bring them to life.
Now, I would suggest that this is an early model of salvation.  Which is awesome.  I love seeing the Gospel throughout the Word.  But, what about those of us who were dry bones, were brought to life, and for whatever reason are feeling more like the rotting corpse of what we once were in Christ?  What about us that are feeling like zombies?  We were alive, maybe in a great way.  But we seem to be dying in this new life.  I honestly think that if we looked on the outside like we actually are spiritually, many of us would greatly resemble the walking dead.  Bloody, smelly, pieces falling off or completely missing.  I really like this picture.  I know it's how I feel and see myself sometimes.
As gross as that is, and as harsh as that is, there is hope.  God took a valley of dry bones, and made them alive.  Surely He can take a roughed up life and renew it!  If we were dry bones, but became new in Christ, then there is no reason to think we have to stumble around like zombies when life beats us up.  The one who raised from the dead did so gloriously, and craved no violence or brains afterward.  It's time we stop wandering around like some reanimated version of dry bones, and live in new life.  Check out Philippians 1:

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

He isn't done with the dry bones.  We aren't just the reanimated dead.  We are alive in Christ!
Happy Halloween!

Reason #2 I'd couldn't be a member of a mega-church:
If the Zombie Apocalypse happens during services, how do you get out of that crowd?  I don't run very fast, I don't climb very well, and I'm generally clumsy.  If the Zombies start during church, I have to have an open lane to escape, or I'm done for.  No way I'd survive in a crowd.  Forget that.